FIFA Worried About God

Wednesday March 10, 2010
By A Correspondent

Kaka praying to God

Soccer is a sport of extremes, but this time, the most angelic of players could hazard the risk of running afoul of FIFA through their ardent evangelism - especially the kind displayed on their undershirts.

FIFA is worried that God is going to show up at the World Cup Finals this year, and maybe even appear on the field.

Truth be told, it’s happened before, in a sense.

The Almighty’s most visible involvement thus far was at the Finals in 1990 when one of his agents, the Pope, personally blessed the Irish national team in Rome during the tournament. But that Holy Water was not strong enough to see the Irish to glory.

God went back to being mysterious and doing what a divine being does best - blinding referees at the crucial moment. Ask the Irish about Thierry Henry, or the English about Maradona.

But now FIFA faces the prospect of God lifting the World Cup trophy. And with so many visions of Him flying about the world these days someone is likely to be offended.

So FIFA is perhaps praying that Brazil do not win the cup. Their captain Lucio is God’s defender, and Kaka is His thunderbolt striker.

At last year’s Confederations Cup Final in South Africa, both players removed their team jerseys to reveal messages suggesting that God was the real winner of the tournament.

And their faith may have been strengthened by the fact that Brazil came back from a two-goal deficit to beat the separation of church and soccer Americans.

FIFA is warning the national associations to make sure victory and goal celebrations remain human and not divine.

The governing body of the sport has decreed that no religious diktat will be exposed from under a nation’s colours.

The question is this: Will Kaka and other disciples - including South Africa’s Steven Pienaar, another stripper for the Lord – follow the Word of Blatter or the Word of the Most High?

FIFA’s boss, Sepp Blatter, is a formidable force in his own right and is likely to fire his version of a thunderbolt at anyone promoting the World Cup as a place of worship.

Let’s be intellectually objective for a second. Surely, the Finals are positively Darwinian.

They represent the survival of the fittest, where evolving soccer nations this time round may be primed to snatch soccer’s Holy Grail from the hands of the World Cup’s chosen few – Brazil, Italy, Germany and Argentina.

If an avowed atheistic country like North Korea wins the World Cup, then God is dead?
What do fans think? Should God displays be allowed at the World Cup Finals?

Posted under

Comments